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House Hunting hurts

I’ve been looking for rentals with my partner J for the last month. I have some good news and I have some bad news. Good news: We just signed our lease yesterday! Bad news: We did not come out of the house hunting process unscathed. Our journey to find our first apartment together came at a cost. It took a serious toll on our mental … Continue reading House Hunting hurts

theextraounceMarch 30, 2019March 30, 2019Leave a comment

Who am I?

Hi folks! I’m Jess.

I’m a mental health advocate from Melbourne, Australia. I work to destigmatise mental illness as a Peer Ambassador with SANE Australia and as a speaker for batyr.

I have just completed my Honours in Psychology. I also work as a research assistant and NDIS educator.

I have lived experience of Anorexia, C-PTSD, Bipolar disorder and Anxiety.

I love to write poetry, sing and play footy. My best friend is my greyhound child named Holly.

On Instagram

This week’s #poemperweek is about my hopes for my upcoming trip and two weeks of social media. #poem #poetry ✈️. . Image description: A photograph of Jess’ hand placed on a notebook. In the notebook a poem reads “I’ve got a backpack full of hope It weighs heavy on my back Daring to dream that when I walk In my worn out shoes I’ll find footsteps to guide me Over the mountain Through the flames To find myself again

Yesterday I got the times of my Psychiatrist appointment confused and arrived an hour late. When I realised this I reacted in an extremely distressed way. Upon the receptionist seeing my reaction, I was immediately rescheduled for later that day. I reflected on why I acted that way. And I realised that as much as I was genuinely distressed, I reacted that way because experience has told me that people don’t respond well to me politely asking to be rescheduled because I really need the appointment. I need to prove, many times in my daily existence, that I am unwell. Sometimes to the point of humiliating myself. 🤬. . Image description: A blue background with white text that reads “Just because my illnesses are invisible doesn’t mean they don’t exist.”

New blog post about burn out and why I am taking a break from social media starting next week. 💔. . “A lot of people chuck around the term ‘burnt out’. Myself included. Because it’s such an overused term, I looked up the dictionary definition of ‘burnt out’. I found many definitions concerning motor parts and an engine literally burning out. But some other descriptions did come up. These were concerning working one’s self to exhaustion or to ‘ruin one’s health’. And I got thinking about my own current health status. And I don’t think I am burnt out. Yet. But I am on my way. I would say I am burning. Or I am on fire.” 🔥. . Image description: A photograph with a white background of five matches, each is more burnt than the last. Red text about the matches reads “I’m on fire. New blog. Link in bio”

Obsessive Compulsive problems, am I right? 😂. . A lot of people have been trying to comfort my instrusive thoughts lately by saying things like “you know that’s never gonna happen right?” 🤦‍♂️. . Like this may surprise you but one of the most painful things for me about being mentally ill is knowing the I am being irrational. Except when completely manic, I can feel myself losing touch with reality. I am aware what I am thinking is delusional. But it is so goddamn real to me. And telling me it isn’t real isn’t helpful. 🤷‍♂️. . Image description: A rose pink background with white text that reads “This may surprise you but I know I am being irrational”

I love reading through my gratitude journal. It always helps me take stock when things feel tough. 👌 . I highly encourage everyone to write daily gratitudes. Especially on hard days where it feels impossible. Practicing gratitude makes my life richer. Well actually, it makes me realise how rich my life already is.💘. . What are you grateful for today? ⁉️. . Image description: A photograph of Jess with their face buried in a note book.

CN: suicide mentioned briefly My best friend had a major surgery last week so I’ve been entertaining them in hospital while they recover. Unluckily for me, they’re in the same hospital I spent time in following my suicide attempt last year. It brought back all sorts of bad memories for me. 💭. . I have a tendency to put others needs before my own. As much as I preach boundaries I am often motivated to do what I deem as right, even if it isn’t right for me. So I had to be really careful revisiting this hospital, a place of trauma, that I put on my oxygen mask before tending to my best friend. I made sure to meditate. To do some grounding exercises. And to let myself feel the feelings rather than push them down. 💘. . In case you are wondering, my bestie is doing really well and was discharged yesterday. 💚 . Image description: A purple background with white text that reads “You need to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others”

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